Category: Syntax Error

Mein Zeh ist gebrochen

December 6th, 2010 · · Recognizer, Syntax Error 3 comments

Well, Volks, it’s official: Chad officially has his first broken bone. I went to the doctor today at the behest of my employer. Honestly, I would never have guessed that my toe is actually broken, but the x-rays confirmed that it is. Quite broken, actually. Not just a hairline fracture or something, but a clean break.

I must admit that I always assumed that a broken bone would be a much more traumatic event. Don’t get me wrong–it hurt like the dickens when it happened. Yet I figured there would have been more symptoms from the break like obvious disfigurement or bones poking through skin. Yet it took almost 24 hours before there was any external evidence that my foot had attempted to pass through something it could not. Is it just that the bone is very small?

Today’s experience with the German health system was much better than Friday’s. Sure, my experience on Friday was primarily marred by all the medical offices being closed. And I was a bit concerned this morning when I went to the doctor’s office on the corner and found nobody at the front desk (and nobody waiting) knew English. I’ve often found that people here think they don’t speak English or know it “very very little,” but these two ladies didn’t know anything beyond “Please sit down.” Fortunately, I was saved by Google Translate on my iPhone. I typed in everything I wanted to say, hit translate, and showed it to the lady. I also showed her a picture of my foot. From that point on, it was all charades and me picking up bits and pieces of what she was saying. They called a taxi for me and sent me to another doctor for the x-rays.

I was happy to find that the lady at the desk at the second doctor could speak “very very little” English which, more often than not, is actually quite a good deal of English. From that point on, I was OK. The doctor and his cute-as-hell assistants all knew enough to communicate with me.

After seeing the fracture, they taped up my foot and said I need to stay home and off my foot the rest of the week. I have a follow-up appointment at 8am on Friday.

I guess I have to hand it to the ladies at NI HR for insisting that I go to the doctor. Without this appointment today, I would have gone into work assuming that my bruises would be healing while, in reality, I could be preventing the toe from mending itself.

I really hope that I’m cleared to walk about by Friday since it will be the final weekend at my old apartment. The snow and broken toe screwed up my plans to go over and clean up–I also need to pick up the remainder of my clothes and a few other things. Now I’ll have to try to squeeze it all in this weekend. Should be OK, but I didn’t want to cut it down to the wire with this. Oh well, at least I did get all the big stuff done before the accident. Actually, I wouldn’t have had the accident if I hadn’t done the big stuff. Would it have happened anyway even if I put the bookcase together a week later than I did? Was this broken toe written in the stars? Cause and effect: fun and annoying to think about.

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Der Fuß und ALDI

December 3rd, 2010 · · Recognizer, Syntax Error 3 comments

For those of you who keep up with me on Facebook, you would have recently seen some status updates with a number of Q-Bert expletives. Those happened right after I kicked the crap out of my own foot on Wednesday night.

One of the reasons I like this new apartment is that is has carpet. It’s extremely low pile and there is no carpet pad underneath, but it’s carpet nonetheless. As a result, it’s wonderful to be able to kick off the shoes and relax after a day at work or, as was the case Wednesday night, a long walk back from Kottbusser Tor due to the northbound U8 being out of commission. It was -8?C that night and I tried many creative wrappings of my scarf to keep the wind out of my face. I didn’t succeed very well and found the moisture from my own breath freezing in my beard.

After kicking back and relaxing with some dinner, I decided to tackle the assembly of the smaller of my Expedit bookcases that I got from IKEA on Friday. This is the one that would go in the bedroom upon which the 32″ TV will go once I get a big one for the living room. The Expedit cases basically look like a bunch of square cubby-holes, so I also figured it would work well in the bedroom if I want to store things like socks and underwear there. But due to the limited space in the bedroom, I decided to assemble the case out in the living room.

Though I was in bare feet at this time, I didn’t suffer any injuries to them during the construction of the bookcase. Instead, I managed to smash my right ring-finger while trying to push a wooden dowel into the side of one of the shelves. I’m all bruised up under that fingernail now and, at the time, I just had to sit there and sweat out the pain and throbbing. Aside from that incident, I managed to get the case together without any problems. I put it up on its side and began pushing it along the carpet out of the living room towards the bedroom when…

CRACK!!!

…went my foot on the doorframe to one of the closets. No, I didn’t hit it on the doorframe exiting the living room. Instead, I managed to kick the door trim sideways for another door in the hallway. A very small target area to be sure, but I hit it like a champ. I blame it on my glasses for distorting my peripheral vision.

Strangely, the pain wasn’t as bad as what I’d just experienced with my finger. I was standing there on my other foot just waiting for a rush of horribleness to run up my leg, but it didn’t really happen. So I continued to push the bookcase into the bedroom and set it in its position against the wall.

Over the next five minutes, though, the pain started getting worse and worse. Concerned about the crack I’d heard, I tried to move my toes with my finger. Yes, they moved. No, they didn’t move in a strange way that would suggest they were broken. Yes, it hurt like hell when I did this.

I decided to call it a night, but I did manage to take a picture of my foot which was now starting to show signs of swelling. I was also looking curiously at my “ring toe” (the toe next to the pinky toe…the equivalent of the “ring finger” on your foot) because it seemed to be pointing out and to the left. I did not see this when comparing it with my right foot, so I was still unsure about its condition. Here’s what it looked like:

Has my toe always pointed out to the left like that?

When I woke up Thursday morning, it hurt like a sonofabitch. Walking was a chore–basically me using the heel of my left foot as if it were a stump. And with the surprise snowfall that had happened overnight, it definitely didn’t sound like a smart idea to try walking from here to the Heinrich-Heine-Strasse U-Bahn station, transferring to the U1 at Kottbusser Tor, then walking the rest of the way to work from Schlesisches Tor. Best to just stay off it and let it heal. So that’s what I did…until I saw there was nothing for me to eat.

I therefore had to squeeze into my boots and limp up to the ALDI to get something–anything–to eat. Being my first time at this store, I had to waddle around a bit as I figured out where everything was. ALDI is a cheap supermarket, much like the Lidl near my old apartment, so what I found there wasn’t much of a surprise. But once I reached the rear-left of the store, I found two things that blew my mind:

  1. As if the universe was rewarding me for my pain and trouble, or if God was responding to my prayers, I found that ALDI sells Apple Cinnamon yogurt by the bucket. That’s right: An entire bucket–with a handle–of sweet cinnamon goodness. If they sold these by the vat, I’d probably buy one and swim around naked in it. ALDI for the win!
  2. As if the universe had just encountered some sort of wormhole, I was stunned to find cans of Trader Joe’s fruits staring at me. Canned pears, fruit cocktail, and mandarin oranges, all with the familiar Trader Joe’s logo on them. What the hell? Surely this is the result of a mislabeled shipping container that found its way to Germany. Looking around the store for any other signs of Trader Joe’s, I found none. Like Lidl and their one-time supply of peanut butter, I would not be surprised if I never see these again after they sell out at ALDI. Based on my success with the bucket of yogurt above, perhaps I should start praying for Trader Joe’s in Germany?

After getting home, I left my shoes on as a protective measure for my foot. But when I finally took them off in the evening, here’s what I saw:

Oh yeah...three different bruised areas.

So this was unexpected. At the time when it had happened, I thought I only hit my “ring toe.” But looking at this bruising, I must have also clocked my middle toe, if not my “index toe” as well! Pretty gross, eh?

When I woke up on Friday, I was happy to realize that I wasn’t feeling any pain in my foot as I had the previous morning. Unfortunately, the pain came back immediately as soon as I tried to use my foot for anything. It seemed logical then that I should stay off of it for another day and let it continue to heal. However, being my second day staying home from work, NI needed a doctor’s note about it. Thus began an entirely new saga here in Germany of trying to find any sort of medical help.

The first hurdle: Finding information in English. I decided the best thing to do was to just call the number for Techniker Krankenkasse in hopes my call would be answered by an English-speaker. It wasn’t, but the person who answered was able to transfer me to someone who did. I explained my situation, that it didn’t seem to be an emergency, but that I needed to see an English-speaking doctor about this and didn’t know how to find one. She said she was able to perform a search and found 4 general practitioners in my area who speak English. She asked for my e-mail and said she’d send them to me so I could check them out. The e-mail didn’t arrive for almost an hour–I was on the verge of calling back when it arrived. Indeed, there were 4 names and two seemed to be extremely close to where I live.

The second hurdle: Actually reaching a doctor. I started calling up the number from the list but kept getting answering machines that told me things in German that I could not understand. After exhausting all the listings, I called TK back up to see if they had any other recommendations. This time, the guy who answered said they would have an English-speaking representative call me back. In a few minutes, they did. This person stated that all of these doctors were off for the day. She showed me how to find their hours of business and, sure enough, on Fridays, these folks take off early. One was gone by noon, another by 1PM. It was 3PM at the time so the situation was hopeless for me. One doctor had hours on Monday starting at 8AM, so I figured I would just try to reach them then and see if I could be seen before going into work.

I explained the situation to the HR department at NI, but they suggested I just go to a hospital to be checked out immediately. I saw a big TK branch only a few blocks away on Google Maps, so I squeezed into my boots and headed out. Fortunately, today had been a balmy -5?C, so a bit of snow had started to melt and I didn’t find myself attempting to navigate across ice. Had I run into any, I surely would have fallen because my left foot would not be willing to support me.

I almost felt like I was on candid camera when I arrived because I discovered that this main branch, this huge building with the TK logo on it, had also closed at 3PM. A number of things are going through my mind at this point, the primary one being: What the hell are you supposed to do if you hurt yourself after lunch on a Friday?!?!

Not willing to walk to another closed office, I made a call into NI to ask where they think I should go given the time (a little after 4) and my location. After researching for a few minutes, they agreed that it would probably be best for me to just go home and try visiting a doctor on Monday. Fine. I limped back home.

Of course, I’m wondering if a doctor’s visit on Monday is even going to be worthwhile now. I mean, I will have been living with the condition for over 4 days by that point, so I think they’ll just look at it and say “Yeah, you fucked up your foot, you moron. Try not to walk on it or hurt it further.” Such may be the case, but I guess it needs to be done to satisfy NI. Yay…I get to wake up at 7:15AM on Monday.

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Die Schlüssel für meine neue Wohnung

November 14th, 2010 · · Initialization, Recognizer, Resource Hog, Syntax Error 6 comments

It’s been a long time in the works and I haven’t wanted to talk about it much in the fear of jinxing it, but they’re finally in hand: the keys to my new apartment!

One key for the mailbox and one for everything else.

I’m not exaggerating at all when I say it was easier to get a job in Berlin while living in the US compared to getting an apartment in Berlin while living here. For those of you who have never tried this and assume, like I did, that getting an apartment wouldn’t be much different overseas, here’s a list of eye-opening discoveries I stumbled upon during my journey:

  1. Einbauküche–also known as “EBK”, this refers to a fitted kitchen. What is a fitted kitchen, you ask? Well, it means that a kitchen actually exists. Evidently, it’s very common in Germany (and possibly other parts of Europe as well) for the tenants to buy all of their own kitchens. I’m not just talking about a microwave, refrigerator, or other appliances. I’m talking about the stove, counters, and cabinets! That’s right: without an Einbauküche, you basically have a tiled room with a sink mounted on the wall alongside various hookups and fixtures. You can usually see where the cabinets used to be–there’s sort of a cleaner area on the wall that sort of resembles a chalkline at a crime scene. The previous tenants took everything with them and it’s your job to buy new stuff of your own (if you want it).
  2. Kaltmiete und Warmmiete–these translate to “cold rent” and “warm rent.” What’s the difference? Cold rent is the actual rent of the property without any utilities or other costs (building and grounds maintenance, trash service, etc.). Warm rent includes those costs. Naturally, it’s the cold rent that’s listed on any website and it sort of reminds me of the trick most airlines do where their ticket prices appear cheap but you have to pay for your luggage and meals separately…it’s a way to get their number to show up higher on a list when searching for the lowest fares. Why separate the two? Well, it makes a difference in two other calculations which are explained next.
  3. Kaution–Us Amerifolk know this as “security deposit” so, in a manner of speaking, this is nothing shocking…until you see how much they want. The typical deposit is 3 monthly rents! Not just first and last up front, but 3 months plus first month! Fortunately, the Kaution is calculated using the “cold rent” which makes it a little easier to digest, but such a large lump-sum like that can make moving a very expensive proposition. Of course, you’ll get (most of) that money back when you move out, so it’s not really an expense in the true meaning of the word.
  4. Provision–And then there’s the exact opposite of the Kaution: the agent commission. This money simply thrown away. It’s money paid to the agent for posting the apartment on a website, making a few phone calls, and maybe showing you the place. This amount varies, but I have seen it equivalent to 2.38x monthly rent plus 19% VAT. That’s basically another three-months worth of rent but, unlike the Kaution which puts your money on hold until you leave, you can simply kiss the Provision goodbye.

So, let’s just do a for-instance here: an apartment you find online that has a Kaltmieter of 500€ may actually have another 250€ on top per month for Warmmieter making the monthly rent 750€. They may want three months of Kaltmieter for the Kaution–that’s 1.500€–plus 2.38 months Kaltmieter plus VAT for Provision–that’s another 1.416,10€. So, in order to move in to an apartment listed with a 500€ cold rent, you’ll have to show up with 3.666,10€ and be able to afford 750€ per month. And after all of that, you may not even have a kitchen!

Considering everything above, I actually got fairly lucky. I’ve heard some amazing good-luck-tales from friends but they’re hard to come by. And while this one may not go down in the history books as a totally incredible deal, I’m quite happy with how it tuned out, especially from my American perspective. Here’s what I was able to swing:

2-Room Apartment, 80 square meters, terrace, white tiled bathroom with full-sized tub, and a fitted kitchen. Warm rent: 830€. Provisionfrei! The deposit is still 3-months cold rent which is 1.950€ but, as you’ll see in a moment, this is OK. Aside from the fact I should get a lot of that money back when I move out, this apartment also includes the following:

  • Fully-fitted kitchen, even more so than most places with an EBK. This has a fridge and separate freezer which is not so typical here. Most places (like where I am right now) have those tiny under-the-counter fridge/freezer things which can only hold a couple days-worth of food. At the new place, it’s as tall as a regular American fridge, and it’s sort of hidden by the fact its doors look just like all the other cabinet doors. Aside from the glass-top stove, there is also a dishwasher! Holy cow! I only saw a dishwasher at one other place, and most placed don’t even have the space for one (typically, if there is an empty space in the EBK, it’s for a clothes washer). On top of this, the previous tenant has left me the rug, table, and chairs as well as a huge assortment of dishes and silverware. So aside from some pots and pans and a couple basic appliances, the kitchen is all set to go–hardly any money needs to be spent there.
  • The tenant also left his bedroom set for me. Queen-sized bed (or whatever the equivalent is here in Germany), night stands, and lamps. The comforter matches the lamp shades which is an interesting touch, but I probably won’t keep them because the patterns are pretty, uh, well, weird? It’s kinda cool–it may grow on me–but I might be able to find something better.
  • The previous tenant also left behind all the blinds and drapes which is super-cool. And while I’m not totally sure, I think the drapes in the bedroom sort of matched the bed, too. What I do know is that the bedroom can be pitch-black–those are some heavy drapes. There are a set of regular slat-blinds in the living room with light drapes that cover them. Good enough to last me for a little while!
  • Aside from one spot in the living room, the previous tenant also left all the ceiling light fixtures. The one in the bedroom is really cool.
  • I also got a few plants on the terrace along with some furniture (two chairs and a table).
  • The tenant left this sort of “entry-way sit-on-it-while-you-put-your-shoes-on” thing which, functionally, is cool but looks very old and dainty. Definitely not something that would fit in once I get some other furniture into the place. Fortunately, the entryway is separated from all the other rooms so it could sort of sit in there like an orphan without affecting the vibe of the other rooms. But everyone would see it as they come in and would probably ask if I got that thing from my grandparents.

So with all those things already in place, it reduces my costs for furnishing the place, so the full deposit was OK. The fact I got it provision-free is unbelievable. And the place also has some great extras like a storage cage downstairs, a bike room, a garage (if I ever got a car, which I probably wont), and even the trash/recycling bins are inside which will make them easy to get to even during a blizzard. I also just found out today that this area is one of the few in Berlin that is outfitted with fiber-optics. Once I get my modem installed, I’m going to have something rediculous like 36Mbit connection which is going to be upgraded two more times the following year. There is a business on the ground floor and I think that has something to do with why the better technology is there. I can’t frickin’ wait! Can you say “Video chat”?

If anyone is curious, you can see the location of the flat on Google Maps by using this address: Legiendamm 10, 10179 Berlin, Deutchland. As you’ll see, this place is situated right next to a park with a large pond-thingy. St. Michael Kirche is at the northern end. In fact, my living room windows look out over that park which makes an awesome view. This is still considered Kreuzberg but is only a short bike ride or a couple train stops from Mitte. It’s also about a 5-minute walk from Tresor!!! But I swear that was only discovered after the fact. Here’s a picture of the park out front:

That's St. Michael Kirche at the end of the park.

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I Woke Up at 8AM for this Shit?

October 19th, 2010 · · Initialization, Syntax Error 2 comments

The building management likes to leave notices in the mailboxes and I’ve received a few already. For example, they announced a week or two ago that they’d hired a company to clean the curtains in the apartments. At 7am, I got a knock on my door and the crew came in and took the curtains down. With no window coverings, it was very tough to go back to sleep at that point. The curtains were back in place by the time I got home.

Another notice I got explained that they’re having all the windows in the apartments replaced and that I’d have the option to stay in the apartment during the construction (what?) or could move to another unit. Obviously, I chose the latter. A few days ago, I got the notification that I’ll need to move to apartment 38 by Monday, 25 Oktober. That’s one floor down from me at the end of the hall. Not a big deal. In fact, they’ll want me to move back to my original apartment when the construction is done, so I think I’ll only need to move some clothes and my computer–just enough to survive a few days–and can leave my other boxes in the apartment. Easy.

At the same time as the above notice, I received another. All of these notices are in German, by the way, so I usually have to bring them into the office for someone to translate, or take the time to type them in to Google Translate to understand what they say. This one, however, required no translation–I could tell what this one was about immediately. On the letter was the following:

W-LAN

Score! Even in German, W-LAN refers to Wireless Internet and, as confirmed at work yesterday, the building has installed W-LAN and now provides the service to all the tenants. About time! I’ve been using one of those USB Internet Adapters which is basically Internet over-the-air (like the Internet used by my iPhone). It works, but it’s not fast and there is a bandwidth (download) limit each week. The speed and bandwidth limitations prevent me from being able to make Skype calls back to America or downloading video (I keep up on my Big Bang Theory episodes by downloading them at work and taking them home). With proper W-LAN, those issues would be a thing of the past!

Unfortunately, there was no security passcode for the W-LAN on the letter–I had one of the guys at work read it to me to confirm. It said that, instead, I needed to go to the home office to get the access code from the janitor. The home office hours are 8am-9am, Tuesday through Friday. Convenient.

So I woke up at the ungodly hour of 8am this morning to get down to the janitor during my one hour of opportunity. I went down with the ultimate case of bed-hair, but figured it didn’t matter for something like this. Keeping hours like that, he certainly couldn’t be surprised by my appearance. When I got there, I was overjoyed to realize that he did not speak any English. Seems silly for a building that provides short-term housing for people moving to the area…I know there are a lot of English-speakers there besides myself. Nevertheless, by pointing at the letter and the words for “passcode,” I was able to get the info from him.

Excited with my success, I went back upstairs and immediately fired up my computer. I turned on the wireless receiver and searched for the Wi-Fi network. Nothing. My computer didn’t pick up any networks anywhere. Motherfucker. I remember one of the other guys at the office mentioning that he saw a router out in the hall (he’s also staying in the same building as me) so I went out into the hall looking for one. There it was–just two doors down from me. I took my iPad with me so I could try connecting while standing right below it–that worked. I put in the username and password and was greeted by full bars on the Wi-Fi meter.

Before heading back to my apartment, I decided to run an experiment and attempt a download so I could gauge how fast the connection was (and to also know if I suffered any decreases in speed back in my apartment). I tried loading the Wikipedia page for the movie “Apocalypto” which I had just watched for the first time this weekend. It’s a pretty amazing movie, by the way, but I digress. This simple Wikipedia page took almost 30 seconds to download while I was standing right beneath the wireless router. FAIL! That USB adapter from Vodafone would have probably been at least 5 times as fast.

While maintaining the connection, I went back to my apartment. Sure enough, when I sat down in the living room, the signal was gone. I was able to find signal again while sitting on the toilet which is right near the front door to the apartment. Even still, speeds were horribly slow. Like absolutely ludicrous. They must have put up multiple wireless routers in the place but hooked them all up to the same 1MB/s line. That, or there are a bunch of people eating up all the bandwidth downloading Internet porn.

Alas, my hopes have been dashed. There will be no Skype calls back home. I will not be streaming any video content to stay current with America. I will continue to pay Vodafone for my 1GB of Internet access each week, at least until a jailbreak for my iPhone 4 comes out and I can get MyWi working again. Fuck!!!

I guess the only “good” thing to come out of this is that I still have motivation to move to a new apartment. There was a risk that, if the Wi-Fi had been kick-ass, I would have been more content to stay right where I am. At 527€ per month including all utilities and Internet, it would have been a decent deal.

I have two apartments to see now–one today at 8:30 PM in Prenzlauerberg and a second at 7:30 PM tomorrow on the other side of the river from where I work. I actually have high hopes about the second place since it is so close to where I work and right near the Waschauer Straße U- and S-Bahn stations…it’s a great hub to get many places. Both places, I believe, have Internet services ready to go that I won’t have to share with anyone.

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Win Some, Loose Some…Volume Zwei

October 17th, 2010 · · Recognizer, Syntax Error 3 comments

Major win! I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been quite impressed with Germany’s seriousness with yogurt, specifically the “Bucket-o-Joghurt” which is a much more appropriate serving size for me (yes, it’s a bucket with a handle on it full of yogurt).

Yogurt appears to be a local thing as I have not seen any Dannon or Yoplait brands at the store (at least, not at the discount stores where I’m shopping). Instead, I get varieties like “Milbona” and “Yogosan” (which sounds Japanese, but it’s not). In the case of yogurt, the abandonment of American brands is a good thing–I say this because Dannon has disappointed me twice in the history of yogurt. Their most recent offense was the reduction from 8oz to 6oz…a very sneaky move on their part because 1) the price didn’t change and 2) the lids stayed the same size (the cup tapered faster towards the bottom to hold less product) making it harder to notice. 8oz was almost enough for me–I could eat one and still be itching for more, but I’d get over it. At 6oz, it was merely a tease. Just one cup was not satisfying at all and I always needed a second. But Dannon’s second offense was much more heinous: they dropped the Dutch Apple (a.k.a. Apple Cinnamon) flavor from their lineup. OK–maybe they still manufacture it for some part of the country, but it’s been years (decades?) since I saw one of those at the store. It was, without a doubt, my most favorite flavor of all time.

Well, Yogosan’s bucket of yogurt makes up for Dannon skimping on the cup size. And as I discovered yesterday, Milbona has an apple cinnamon flavor yogurt available at the grocery store next door to my apartment. Joy! The only thing that could beat it now is a bucket of apple cinnamon yogurt. But I’m not complaining about it–I’ll be completely happy with the solution I have now.

But, with every win, there seems to be a loss. The thing I’m missing most this week is: my hairstylist. In California, I had two excellent hairstylists, John Street (R.I.P.) and Marco Delgado. The thing I liked most about these guys (besides their personalities) was the fact that they could cut my hair without making it look like my hair had just been cut. It often took people a few days to notice that anything happened because their after-cut results were so realistic. I’d obviously watched them do it numerous times, but I can’t say I know what the trick is. And I always felt confident going to either of them and saying “just make it look good” without any further direction. These guys did hair for fashion shows in LA–they knew what they were doing.

As it turns out, finding an LA-quality hair stylist on a rainy Saturday in Berlin is not so easy. In fact, just finding a salon that is open is hard enough. The first place I checked was closed (no lights). The second place I checked had the lights on and there was even a girl there on the phone, but she gave me the negatory sign when I tried opening the door (which was locked). Was it lunch break or something? So I ended up going to a little shop run by a bunch of Turkish guys. I think those guys only know one hairstyle–Turkish Guy Style–because they did a horrible job on my do. I told him just to take a little bit off because I wanted to keep the length in the cold weather. He did that just fine, but he ended up giving me what basically looks like a bowl cut with really harsh lines. None of those soft transitions or feathering tricks the LA guys did.

I’m definitely unhappy with the do, enough that I’ll probably have to find some sort of posh salon in Mitte for future cuts. I’d have a hard time believing that nobody in this city knows how to do those LA techniques. Until then, I’ll have to get by with my trusty sculpting cream…

Mega FAIL!

Sculpting Cream...I can't leave home without it now!

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German Mexican Sushi

October 11th, 2010 · · Game Grid, Syntax Error One comment

Germans are weird, but we all knew that, right? Well, they’ve taken it to another level now at a restaurant called Dudu (that’s pronounced “doo-doo,” like the dog stuff you can step in). On Friday, a bunch of us from the NI design team went to this restaurant, it being a favorite of Michael’s. I guess he’s been going there every week for the last few weeks. I figured that was a reasonable endorsement for the  food and, not having had any sushi since leaving California, I figured it would be nice to have some (though my expectation for sushi in Berlin was not high).

Dudu has a nice atmosphere with techno music playing in the background. There were a few Asians working there so I felt safe. However, there was not a sushi bar to be seen, so this place isn’t primarily a sushi joint. They merely have some sushi on the menu. It was recommended that I try the Seafood Bowl, but I didn’t feel right skipping out on the sushi…so I ordered both. The Nigiri Track cost 9€ and came with 4 pieces of sushi: Albacore, Yellowtail, Salmon, and Shrimp which are the standards. I was happy to discover that the sushi was quite good and, even better, didn’t use any wasabi. Sure, there was some on the plate, but a lot of sushi places will put wasabi between the fish and rice, partially as an adhesive to hold the two parts together, but also as a way to mask the flavor of a bad cut of fish. Dudu definitely wasn’t trying to serve me any doo-doo.

After gobbling down those four pieces, the Seafood Bowl arrived. This was the weird part. See, it was built on a bed of rice, which is normal, but also included salsa and guacamole. Not mashed avocado, but guacamole…with all the spices. On top of this were sashimi-slices of fish. Sushi on top of Mexican condiments on top of rice. Surprisingly, it all worked together, though it definitely didn’t provide an authentic sushi or Mexican experience. But this was the closest thing I’ve had to Mexican food since arriving in Berlin…at an Asian restaurant. Go figure.

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Merry pre-Xmas!

September 23rd, 2010 · · Recognizer, Syntax Error 6 comments

I used to think it was pretty pathetic with how early American retailers would start advertising for Christmas, but it appears Germans are no different. The advent calendars are in the grocery store along with the chocolate Santa’s, chocolate coins, and all sorts of other holiday-themed sweets.

On one hand, this sort of makes sense because, from what I can tell, Thanksgiving and Halloween are not big holiday/events around here. OK, I know some of you are probably thinking, “You dolt! Thanksgiving in Germany? That’s an American holiday!” Ah, but you’d be wrong. There actually is a German Thanksgiving that happens at the end of September or early October, but it’s not an official holiday the way it is in the US (aka no day off from work). And Halloween is getting more popular here, or so I’m told, but I don’t think I will be seeing a bevy of girls dressed as sexy devils, nurses, and cops running around the streets on the night of October 31. So, in the grand scheme of things, the Christmas season is the next big one coming up on the German calendar.

It will be interesting to see what happens because I remember my friend, Roland, telling me some stories about gifts happening before Christmas. I think he may have been talking about this St. Nicholas Day on the 6th of December. Supposedly kids get gifts that day if they leave their shoes in front of the door the night before. I don’t know what else it entails, though.

But it still freaks me out that the Christmas sweets are at the markets already. I figured the American-style marketing-driven greed hadn’t infected this country. Alas, I was wrong. My only hope is that this is just a simple excuse to get you hands on the advent calendar chocolates more than once a year. After all, what’s the point of selling calendars right now, nearly two-and-a-half months before you can actually start to use them? It’s snack time!

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Sickness, Laundry, and Sandwiches

September 5th, 2010 · · Recognizer, Syntax Error 2 comments

I was really hoping I could last longer than this, but it appears I have now succumb to my first ailment here in Berlin. In a way, I’m surprised it took this long because it seemed like half the office was out sick during the last two weeks. Colds and fevers. Yet I didn’t catch anything.

Yet I noticed that the back roof of my mouth was starting to get a little itchy on Saturday evening as I went to the store (having remembered at the last minute that I would not be able to buy food on Sunday). A few hours later, my sinuses were puffed up and my nose was running. I went to bed and woke up many times throughout the night with one nostril completely closed up yet dripping all over my face. It was at this time that I discovered that the industrial-strengh 4-ply toilet paper actually makes excellent Kleenex. +1 for structural integrity.

Even though I still feel the pressure right now on this lovely Sunday and the back roof of my mouth still feels itchy, I have had no fits of coughing or sneezing. I don’t ache in my body, either. I’m therefore thinking that I may only be having an allergic reaction, possibly to some pollen that decided to come out during these last few sunny days. I’m hoping that’s all it is as I don’t want my condition to get any worse. And I don’t want to be contagious. So I’ll just be laying for the rest of the day trying to nurse myself back to health (or at least let my body adapt to the new allergens it’s encountering).

UPDATE: I don’t think this is allergies anymore. I think this is actually a sinus infection. I’m basing this on the fact that my teeth are starting to hurt from the pressure, and that the Wikipedia article on sinusitis states that 40% of cases are caused by second-hand smoke. Ah ha! Can you say “Tresor?” My laundry and poor Adidas Tron jacket can speak volumes about the amount of smoke in that place (I have to take the jacket to the dry cleaners–there’s no other choice). Damn you fucking cigarette smokers! Why do you have to ruin my good time and health?

Because I wasn’t sleeping well, I decided to try to get a jump on the laundry early this morning. I was hoping that the majority of people here would have been out at clubs until 9am and wouldn’t be using the washers. My first trip to the laundry room found both washers in use. That’s right: both. As in two. There are only two washers and one dryer for this whole building which I believe has over 60 apartments. I guess I should have expected as much from a place that doesn’t even have Internet.

Fortunately, the washers had timers on them so I could see how much longer the cycles had to go. When I came back down, the first machine was free so I loaded in all my socks and underwear. These items were the ones running in short supply after being here for 20 days so I wanted to be sure they got cleaned immediately. I managed to figure out the Geld Karte system, it debited 3€ from the card, and I was able to start the washer. I read that Berlin has very hard water, so I used two detergent tablets per the directions instead of just one. Maybe the detergent company already knew this which is why the tablets were packed in pairs. Upon starting the washer, the timer indicated 20 minutes. I set my clock and went back upstairs and watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory to pass the time.

When my timer went off, I packed up a bag of black T-shirts and headed back down to the laundry room. Though my plan was to pull my clean clothes out and put the T-shirts in, I was surprised to see that the timer on the washing machine indicated that there were still 37 minutes left to go. Huh? Maybe the timer indicates the length of each part of the cycle, I don’t know. But I was happy to find that the second washer was free and threw in my stuff. Another 3€ off the card, all systems normal.

When I went back down after 37 minutes, both washloads were done. I have no idea why the second one was shorter than the first. I proceeded to move all the socks and underwear to the dryer and popped in my Geld Karte to debit 1€. I pushed the start button on the dryer, but nothing happened. I opened and closed the door, tried changing settings, yet still nothing when I pushed the green button. At this time, a woman came in who fortunately knew English. She, too, was unable to get the dryer to work, even though it was obvious I had paid since the Karte machine indicated that the dryer was “Belegt” which she told me means “occupied.” So, the appliance basically said “No dryer for you!”

I intended to air-dry all my shirts, so I just packed up everything and took them upstairs. I had just purchased hangers for this very purpose yesterday, so I used them to hang up all my shirts in the hallway.

Just enough space for the T-shirts. My remaining laundry is piled below.

But I did not have such a quick solution for 20 pairs of socks and underwear. So I decided to lay them out on the deck outside in hopes they may even dry quicker in the sun and open air. The socks took up almost the entire railing, and I had to hang underwear on hooks, chairs, and a hanger, plus lay out three sets on the windowsill.

Socks and underwear hanging on the deck.

Underwear on the sill

Everything seemed fine…until the wind started picking up. I looked outside and saw a few gaps on the railing where socks should have been. I looked over the edge and saw nothing, then noticed they’d fallen into the deck into a crack that nearly let them fall through into the neighbor’s deck, below. Time to change plans. That’s when I came up with the following idea:

Socks on the bathroom radiator!

Genius! I’m not turning the radiator on, though, since I don’t need this apartment to be any hotter than it already is. I swear, I want to open the windows at night but, if I do, the apartment becomes overrun with all sorts of flying insects–some of which bite humans, no doubt. In fact, when I first discovered this, I had to go on a killing frenzy which has resulted in all sorts of tiny black smudges on the ceiling from where bugs got squashed. Since all the windows open inwards, I really don’t understand why they don’t put bug screens on these things.

One interesting note relating to my conversation with the woman in the laundry room: I have learned from Rosetta Stone that the German word for “bread” is “das Brot.” I’d also learned that the German term for “sandwich” was “Das belegte Brot.” I therefore had to ask the lady, based on her telling me that “Belegt” meant “occupied,” if “Das belegte Brot” actually meant “occupied bread.” She thought for a second, then laughed an affirmative. It made me wonder if she’d ever even noticed that before. I guess that’s just another one to add to the list of fun German compound words such as “Feuerzeug” (“Feuer” means “Fire” and “zeug” means “stuff” or “thingy”…combined, they are the German word for a cigarette lighter) and “Fallschirm” (“Fall” means “fall” or “drop” like in English while “schirm” means “umbrella”…thus making the German word for “parachute”).

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